New mom's in-laws take it personally when she refuses to take a 22 hour train ride with them and her 1-year-old son: "I really don't want to be in a confined space with my in-laws for that long"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

What is the longest train ride you have ever been on? I have taken a 9 hour train ride during my travels in Europe. It really isn't so bad. If you've never been on a long-distance train, you might think that the experience would be much like an overnight plane ride. You might imagine having to sit side-by-side with strangers, fighting over the elbow rest, and struggling to feel comfortable. However, it's more like staying in a mobile hotel. For such long rides, you would typically book your own cabin. You can walk around the train at your leisure and order food or visit the dining car.

I did just totally hype up long-distance train travel, but being confied to a small space with a 1-year-old and a bunch of overly-critical and overbearing in-laws would make the experience a total nightmare. In our story today, our protagonist is trying to her best to avoid this situation, but it seems that her husband is not on her side. Scroll down to get all the details.

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  • 01

    AITA telling my husband book hotel us while attend my SIL's wedding, rather than share accommodations with his family?

    Cheezburger Image 10485010432
    via ArtMarie

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  • 02
    My husband and I are going to be traveling soon to attend his sister's wedding along with our one year old son. The plan was that we would land at his parent's place and attend one of the wedding
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 03
    ceremonies there. A few days after that, there's another wedding reception in my SIL's soon-to-be husband's city. My in-laws plan to book a few train compartments for the entire family, and an airbnb for the stay there (2-3 days).
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 04
    I really don't want to be in a confined space with my in-laws for that long, especially with my son. My in- laws and I used to be cordial with each other until my son was born. A few weeks after delivery, my MIL and SIL visited us to "help". All they did was just
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 05
    find any opportunity to hold him, regardless of whether he was asleep or in my arms, criticizing me for being too clingy with him when I would put my foot down and basically started locking myself in my room with him, lament how poor my cooking was and how sorry they felt for their poor son/brother
    via u/LargeChallenge6242

  • These are certainly not the types of in-laws you would want to spend 22 straight hours with in a confined space. And that's just the appetizer to no less than 2 weddings. 

  • 06
    who had to endure it, until both my husband and I had had enough and my husband hinted heavily that they had overstayed their welcome. Since then, I get hounded for not sending enough pictures and videos of him, and how I dress him. I'm so grateful we're far enough away that we see them rarely.
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  • 07
    I told my husband a couple of days ago that I'd rather we just fly from his parent's place to the other city and just stay at a hotel while we attend the second ceremony. My husband said that would make us look snobbish, that he himself wasn't over
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10485066752
    via Ziga Plahutar

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  • 09
    the moon about the whole itinerary but it was a family event and we should be with family. The fact that he wasn't into it frustrated me even more because like we're all making ourselves
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 10
    uncomfortable for what then? We got into an argument, his mother and sister's stay got rehashed and I told him he was choosing to make me uncomfortable rather than potentially risk his family being affronted. AITA?
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  • 11
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    via Ulrik Tofte

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  • 12
    ShaggiemaggielovsPat NTA- while it is a family event, being locked in with family for the train ride and then in an Air B&B will be very uncomfortable for everyone since you have a 1 year old. They need routine and peace and quiet to rest, and your family will want to pass him around
    via u/ShaggiemaggielovsPat
  • 13
    and he will end up possibly sick. It's fine to have him visit with family for a reasonable amount of time, but he needs time to nap and play without the overstimulation. Use him as your reason for the alternate trip plans and advise the family that you
    via u/ShaggiemaggielovsPat
  • 14
    would feel horrible if his crying ruined everyone's fun time. You can even let them know he is teething/ starting his terrible twos early/possessed by a demon so there is no push back. If your husband really wants to stay with the family, let him know he will be in charge of the cranky one year old and you will be in another car getting a nap in yourself.
    via u/ShaggiemaggielovsPat
  • 15
    mimianders Better yet-Let him travel with his family and you and your son can fly by yourself and stay in a hotel. NTA
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  • 16
    basketcaseofbananas Why go at all? Just stay at home with LO. OP is completely right that DH's putting his parents'approval over her and baby's comfort and happiness.
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  • 17
    I couldn't imagine having to deal with MIL constantly trying to interfere with my one year old, who will be tired and cranky from travel. And because he'll be tired and cranky he'll want mom and dad more, which will make MIL upset
    via u/basketcaseofbananas
  • 18
    and accuse OP of being clingy or making LO clingy. Which honestly would be hilarious since her (MIL) son can't even handle the thought of staying in a hotel away from mommy even after staying with them for several days!
    via u/basketcaseofbananas
  • 19
    Waffle_of_Doom L no! A 22-hour train ride with a one-year old??? H If nothing else, that's reason enough to do your own thing! but it was a family event and we should be with family.
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  • 20
    You will be with family at all the events! That doesn't mean you have to be up each other's butts every minute. NTA, but I'm not so sure about your husband.
    via u/Waffle_of_Doom
  • 21
    Eryxenzs A train ride that long sounds like a nightmare with a toddler. Prioritizing comfort is totally reasonable!
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  • 22
    RuinBeginning776 A 22 hour train ride isn't actually that bad, it's depends on what ticket you get. My family have done it with baby's a couple months years old. She doesn't have to do but everyone in the comments clearly has never actually done a 22 hour train ride.
    via u/RuinBeginning776
  • 23
    C
    via Ulrik Tofte

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  • 24
    Also I don't understand why you "hinted" at them that they over stayed their welcome, why didn't you sit them down while they were there and let them how you feel tell them ways you want to be supported and what you actually needed help with. Everyone is hating on the in laws but baby
    via u/RuinBeginning776
  • 25
    you need to speak because how to people know with hints. And I would have told them to cook cuz they came here to take care of me tf. The best advice I could give when something is actually bothering you in the future speak up. Maybe I'm just blunt but I feel I would have been avoided all this if I would just opened my big a mouth
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  • 26
    kaldaka16 I've done multiple 10+ hour train rides and while I wasn't uncomfortable I was miserably bored and walking up and down the cars was not enough movement at all.
    via u/kaldaka16

  • Being on an overnight train ride with a one-year-old sounds exhausting, but it really depends on the child. Some children would be totally hypnotized by the scenery from the window and wouldn't make much fuss – others would be bored out of their minds. I think the issue here is moreso the overbearing in-laws.

  • 27
    Stuck with a 1 year old? I shudder to think how bad that would be no matter how nice the train. Stuck with a 1 year old and judgmental r de in laws in a small enclosed space for 22 hours? Now that just sounds like actual hl.
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  • 28
    jesskill Just putting it out there: I have taken 2 long train rides like this: first with a very active 11 month old and the second, when he was 2 years old. It was awesome both times. The compartments are
    via u/jesskill
  • 29
    private, lots of space to walk around, there's a view, dinner car, etc. I was also with my MIL the first time, mind you we were getting along so it worked out. Not saying the OP's feelings aren't valid, but the issue is the ILs not the train.
    via u/jesskill
  • 30
    Foreverforgettable NTA. Let your husband "spend time" with his family. Make the flight and hotel arrangements for yourself and your son. Let him deal with the fallout. They already treat you poorly, who cares if they think you're a snob. You are never going to be "good
    via u/Foreverforgettable
  • 31
    enough" for their son/brother. Why bother trying to "keep the peace" as so many people love to make others do? They didn't care about offending you by talking whilst you recovered from birth. (Which , they would NOT have eaten if it was me because I would not have cooked for them.) Both now and before your husband failed you.
    via u/Foreverforgettable
  • 32
    Do what you want and let him do as he sees fit. (Maybe don't bother going at all-your SIL doesn't seem to like you why bother supporting her?)
    via u/Foreverforgettable
  • 33
    LargeChallenge6242 OP Thank you so much. I'm really glad to read the comments here, his comment about it coming across as snobbish had given me a bit of a pause but honestly the train trip and the 3 days at the
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 34
    airbnb have been on my mind this entire time. I'm going to take the flight there even if my husband wants to take the train. I really want the three of us to stay at the hotel together though, I'm going to insist that we stay at a hotel again.
    via u/LargeChallenge6242

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family drama marriage baby toddler wife motherhood reddit story married life relationships parenting husband wedding mother in law new mom red flag Reddit train
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